Losing everything at once
by misssophie23
Summary: Lindsay gets into a car accident ... don't hate me for the way it goes " [drama x LINSTEAD x one shot]


A/N: Hello people, so we nearly made it … just a few hours and then we will get a brand new episode. I am so excited and still thinking about streaming live :P I don't know … but to get through the time here is my new prompt an anon asked for. I hope you'll like it b/c it's a little bit different from what you might expect it to be ;) Also it's … well … very emotional ;) Tell me what you think & enjoy the new episode. Also I want to tell you that this might be the last prompt I will post for the next 1,5 weeks. My exams are next week, but after Saturday I am free and I will continue writing ;) Please don't hate me ^^" Thank you Zoe for your help :-*

**Losing everything at once**

Hand in hand Jay and Erin walked along the pier. They ate ice cream and rambled through the arcades. Erin and Jay had been together for twelve months and were discussing taking the next step in their relationship.

"...also we've been together for a year." Erin said, held back by her boyfriend who stopped immediately. "One year and three days." Halstead corrected his girlfriend proudly, pulling her closer as a big smile played across his lips. He wrapped his arms around her waist and looked into her hazel eyes.

"Are you sure about that?" Lindsay teased him, wrapping her around Jay's body, pulling her head back to see him nodding.

"Yeah because ever since then I've been the luckiest alive."

Erin felt his words and his smile sending her heart sky rocketing. He really had been happier since they had become a couple. So had she. He made her happy, happier than anybody ever before. So she had to tell him. Right now. She had known for the last two weeks but hadn't said anything because she was scared of ruining their happiness. She that Jay loved her, but she wasn't sure how he felt about having kids. They'd never talked about it.

"Erin?" Jay looked at her worried. She was distracted. "Huh?"

"Is everything okay? You seem pretty distracted."

Erin shook her head. "No everything is fine. I'm sorry, I was thinking about something else." She smiled but Jay couldn't help but think something was wrong. "Something I have to know about?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Umm...yeah there is something I have to tell you." She shifted from one to another. Erin felt her heart beat faster against her ribs. Blood pumped in her ears and she took several deep breaths. She found herself searching for the right words, something she could start with. Lindsay opened her mouth then closed it again. Damn! It was turning to be even harder than she thought it would be.

Lindsay's unusual behaviour was making him nervous. Whatever she had to say to him had to be big or something was seriously wrong. Maybe she wasn't ready to move in with him? Maybe she wanted to end this thing between them in general? Jay's stomach twisted. She couldn't end this thing between them. It would tear his whole world apart. Halstead cupped her face and forced her to look at him.

"Hey what is it? You can tell me anything you know that right? Even...even if you don't want to move in with me or...breaking up. You can tell..."

Erin shook her head. "No, no Jay. God no, no neither I don't want to break up with you or not want to move in with you. It's..." Erin breathed out. She licked her lips, swallowed and looked into his worried eyes, tears gathering in her own.

"You know that I love you right?" She whispered with a shaking voice which made Jay's facial expression even more puzzled than before. He frowned. "Yeah I know that. And you know I love you too Erin." He answered, leaning down to kiss her. What did she have to tell that was scaring the crap out of her?

Even though it was only a simple kiss, it made her knees go weak. She could smell his cologne and was sorry that she was making him so nervous. That she simply couldn't tell him what was going on.

Lindsay nodded, taking a deep breath before she spoke. "I...I have something to tell you. It's about..."

But Erin didn't continue. Her eyes darted to something behind Halstead. She acted within seconds, the actions like second nature to her. With all the strength she could muster she pushed Jay to the side. She pushed him to the ground but wasn't fast enough to get herself out of the way. Erin felt a piercing pain throughout her whole body. She felt her feet leave the ground and in the next second everything went black.

The pain rushed over his body. For a few seconds he couldn't move. All he could do was listen to the screams and groans. Jay's eyes fluttered open. With an aching head he slowly moved. A young woman was kneeling besides him, glancing at him in worry as Jay started to get up. "Hey lay back down. You're bleeding. You might have a concussion." The woman said, trying to get Jay to lie back down but he shook his head. "No, no I can't. My, my girlfriend." He mumbled and as soon as the words left his mouth, the shock hit him. Erin! Erin pushed him out of the way. She had seen the car heading straight towards them. She pushed him away, saved him but what about her?

Halstead stood up on his shaking feet immediately. His eyes searched frantically for his partner. For the woman he loved. But there was chaos everywhere. The car had driven into the shop right next to them. It had hit a few other people; they lay motionless on the ground, groaning in pain. Panic started to overwhelm him. Where the hell was Erin?

"Sir you aren't allowed to get up. You might have..." The woman started again but Jay wasn't listening to her because he had found Erin. He found her between a car and a stand. Her head was bleeding, body sagging between the stand and the car, the metal the only thing holding her up. Her eyes were shut and it didn't seem like she was breathing. "No, no, no." Jay mumbled, struggling through the crowd.

"Erin!" Jay yelled, kneeling down next to her, feeling for a pulse. He sighed in both relief and worry, relief because he could hear a dull throb against his fingers and worried because the throb was weak, growing weaker by the second. She wouldn't make it until to the ambulance arrived. He laid his hand on her cheek, eyes skittering over her body to find her injuries. But besides the bleeding at her head he couldn't find anything. _There has to be internal injuries, _a small voice in his head said but Jay tried to ignore it. If there were internal injuries along with her weakening pulse there wasn't that much of a chance that she would live. She would die. But she couldn't. She couldn't leave him alone.

His heart thumped hard against his ribs. Anger and anguish filled his body and he could feel himself shaking.

"No, no, no, no. No Erin. Come on. Stay with me. I need help!" Jay yelled but no one seemed to hear him, or those that did were too busy taking care of the others that had been injured. With tears in his eyes, he looked at her face, watching as Erin's eyes fluttered open.

She was trying to speak. She opened her mouth but no words came out. She could feel Jay's hot hand on her cheek. But she could also feel the coldness that was seeping into her body. Everything hurt and with every second that passed by she felt it get harder to breathe, her heartbeat slowing down. She blinked, looking into Halstead's eyes. Those beautiful bright blue eyes that she had fallen in love with the first time she had looked into them.

Jay shook his head. "No don't say anything. Don't waste your breath." Jay said, feeling totally helpless. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know how he could save her. All he knew was that he didn't want to lose her. The she couldn't die. She couldn't leave him.

"Jay. I...I...I'm sorry. I..." Erin started but every word hurt like hell. She knew it. She could feel it. She could feel that she was going to die. That she was going to leave him.

Again Halstead cut her off. "No Erin. Don't say anything like that. You are going to make it. Everything is going to be alright. You aren't going to die. You hear me? You're going to stay with me. Please. Please Erin don't leave me." His body was shaking harder, his throat closing as if he was going to choke on the words. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't be awake right now. Yeah that's it; he was lying in his bed having one really bad nightmare. Jay closed his eyes but when he opened them again he was still at the pier, Erin's breathing growing more laboured by the second.

He could hear the sirens. They would be here any minute now. She could make it. She had to!

As Halstead was about to say something Erin shook her head softly. "No li...listen to me please."

Her voice was a whisper. Her body was getting colder. Her heart beat slower, even now his eye made her heart jump in her chest. "I'm sorry Jay. I, I love you. I really do." The tears started to rush down her face. "I'm sorry that...that I...that I didn't tell you." She was supposed to be scared and maybe she was a little but Jay was right next to her. He was there and that was all she needed. One last look into his eyes. That's all she needed. One last look and then she could go.

Jay shook his head wildly. "No, no you don't have to be. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I couldn't have your back. I'm sorry. No Erin please. Stay with me, please. Erin!" Jay yelled as Erin's eyes slid shut. She couldn't hear him anymore. Jay cried holding her face in his hands, pressing his forehead against hers.

"Come back to me please. You can't just leave me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please Erin!" Halstead cried, feeling the tears stream down his face, feeling himself losing his grip on reality.

He could feel the ground underneath him moving, it felt like he was in a tunnel. He didn't want to let Erin go, he was still trying to get her to wake up, to come back to him when a paramedic came over to him, telling him she was gone for good. But Jay didn't want to believe it. She couldn't be dead, not like this.

How was he supposed to live without her? Without her beautiful smile? Without her teasing? Without her reluctance to let him drive? How was he supposed to live without her when she had been everything he had ever adored? When she was the love of his life. When she wasn't just his girlfriend but also his partner, his best friend, and his family? He couldn't.

But she was gone and she wouldn't be coming back. She would never come back.

Later that day Jay learned that Erin was pregnant. Pregnant with twins, his twins. That that's what she was trying to tell him. That he was going to be a father.

He'd lose everything he loved and more the day Erin Lindsay died.


End file.
